She suffers from cyclical vomiting disorder and migraines. It happens every month on the dot and scares me so badly that I end up in a state that can only be described as despair. Prior to her feeding tube wean, we knew that she could still get the calories that she needed to grow. Now that we aren't using the tube, she has to supply it all by herself, and it's very scary.
Last night I texted a few friends begging them to pray for me. One stayed up very late into the night texting her prayers and encouraging me (and she's recently had a very rough loss in her life...It is in instances like this, where a person who is struggling prays for me relentlessly, and I can see that God truly uses people to do His work). God is the only reason why I am okay and why I was able to function today. Another friend tells me repeatedly that no, I can't handle this by myself, but God can. I can't believe I've never thought of this before. She tells me to cry out to God and just repeatedly pray my worries and my fears...It's amazing the freedom that this has given me, to completely admit that I cannot do this without Him. It takes the pressure off of me and it like a huge weight lifting from my chest.
Two nights ago, Tiny B was still in her episode. We were all struggling. I knew that Strong B, Tiny B, myself, and my hubby all needed to focus on God and the real reason for Christmas, so I pulled out the first activity of the Mother Goose Time (MGT) curriculum for the month. They had me begin by reading the Christmas story on the story cards. They are big and beautiful cards with the text on one side and pictures on the other.
We then started our A is for Angel door hanger.
We traced the kids' hands and my husband immediatelly took Tiny B's current hand and compared it to her 5 month-old hand. It was beauful and an awesome visual/reminder that God has helped her to grow since the moment that she was in my womb. She's always been tiny and He has placed her in the palm of His hand (could be literally as she could fit in the palm of a hand when she was born).
The kids then cut out their hands. This part was difficult for them to cut the individual fingers, so we had them cut on a curved line that I drew around the entire hand. (I adore my husband's hands in these pictures. Doing our bible studies at night means that he gets to participate).
The kids punched out the letter "A" and glued everything to the door hanger. They used their pincer grasp with their fingers (a perfect occupational therapy exercise!) to pick up the glitter (which we used even though my husband begged me not to take it out. Seriously though, how can one do a craft without glitter??)
What a sweet project and a very welcome distraction to what was going on in Tiny B's little body. I thank God for these distractions/learning moments. It's one of the things He had planned all along through the hard times, I'm sure.
*I receive Mother Goose Time curriculum in exchange for my honest sharing of experiences, resulting from our personal use. All opinions/thoughts are my own and are in no way influenced by others.
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